• Practice Self-Compassion

    Today I want to write about practicing self-compassion. Compassion is about wanting to help someone who is in need. Part of being a compassionate person includes helping ourselves in our own time of need. Often we have more patience and acceptance for other people than we do for ourselves!

    Here are some ideas:

    1. Taking time for solitude can help you identify the thoughts and emotions you have toward yourself. Are you angry with yourself? During times of solitude try to become aware of critical messages that come to your RCA Blog Ladythoughts. The opposite of self-compassion is self-criticism. Dispute any message that says others are more valuable or more disserving of graciousness and kindness.angry with yourself?
    1. Celebrate your small accomplishment not just the big ones. Others may be aware of the big mountains you have climbed. However, the level of difficulty is a matter of perspective.
    1. Cultivate a child-like acceptance of yourself when you fail. Children seem to have a huge capacity for bouncing back and moving forward after they do the wrong thing or make a mistake, resilience. We are all doing the best we can, learning over time and increasing in understanding as we process new information and experiences.RCA Blog Keep Calm
    1. Model self-compassion/patience and expect the same. This especially true when we are learning a new skill or adjusting to a new role such as spouse, parent, employee or student. Remember that modeling self-compassion for our family, coworkers or friends is the best gift we can give them. When a parent demonstrates acceptance their imperfections, a child’s hope of overcoming their own challenges can increase.
    1. Allow God room to be original and unique in His relationship with others in the same way He is with you. Could it be that in criticizing and making demands of others we have fallen into the trap of expecting too much of ourselves as well? Comparison is not helpful due to unique sets of circumstances, limitations and spheres of responsibility.

    1. Craft some sentences: “I am enough; I refuse to have a mindset of lack and scarcity; I am in the process of learning how to _____ but I am really good at _______; a. I forgive myself for _____; I am grateful for my ordinary blessings including ______.
    1. RCA Blog Reflection self-compassion

      Identify the things that return you to calm: Think about what sustains your sense of internal peace as you go about your day. Image what it would be like to have a more balanced perspective about giving to others and taking time for self-compassion.

    1. Never give up: Remember that self-compassion is about having room to grow, learn and develop at any age. No matter how badly we have messed up, there is always the opportunity for a “do over.”

    True love is about loving ourselves and others for who we are rather than what we think we should be. Each of us has intrinsic value and worthy of love and unconditional acceptance. “Love your neighbor as [not more than] yourself.” (Matthew 22:39)

    Author:

     Beth Holloway, MA LPC with permission to post on Rosario Counseling & Associates

    image009Beth Holloway, MA, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Rosario Counseling & Associates and has more than 12 years’ experience in the mental health  field. She specializes in counseling individuals and couples who have experienced all types of losses including abuse, domestic strife, and trauma. She enjoys leading group therapy classes in the areas of Divorce Recovery, Spiritual Enrichment, Couples and Parent/Child Relationships, Grief Processing and Depression Recovery. Beth has had the privilege of traveling all over the United States and to more than 10 foreign countries.

    ©2015 Rosario Counseling & Associates, PLLC